Coach... Next Time Keep the Medal

Dear Coach-
     Tonight as we left basketball camp at the Y you handed my son a medal... You handed every kid a medal.
     A month ago at the soccer awards banquet you handed my son a medal...  You handed every kid a medal.
     Last summer at the little league baseball closing ceremonies you handed my son a trophy... You handed every kid a trophy.
     I just wanted to write you a quick note to say thank you, but my kid didn't earn those awards. He played hard, he learned a lot and he improved, but his team didn't win the league and he wasn't an mvp or an all star.  I appreciate you trying to make him feel special... like a winner, but he would of been fine without that bling.  He may have felt a little sad or disappointed, but that's ok. In life there are things that upset you and things that aren't fair.
     You see, my kid plays sports for many reasons.  One is to learn sportsmanship. Part of that is learning to be a good winner AND a good LOSER. Not everyone can win. Not everyone deserves a prize. I want my kids' coaches to teach them, to challenge them, to praise them and to honestly evaluate and critique their performance and I understand that sometimes that means my kid might leave practice upset or even mad... It's part of the game. He will grow from it. It will make him stronger. Ultimately he will be better off in life if he can learn that not everything is handed to him on a silver platter and that sometimes life is not fair and many times in life he will lose.
     I remember when I was a kid... 30 years ago... I found myself in the same boat as my son. We didn't win and I wasn't an mvp. I received a participation ribbon while the winners got trophies.  I was a bit disappointed, but I lived. It made me want to try harder the next time... to practice more and set goals for myself... Another lesson I learned, that I believe is just as important, is that I will not succeed at everything I do. I cannot be good at everything. Sometimes I will fail and sometimes I may need to focus my energy and time on something different.
     One of the biggest harms of handing every kid a prize is the attitude it instills in them... An attitude of "I don't have to try my hardest. I will still get a prize." An attitude of "I deserve it!" no matter how hard they try or if they succeed or not.  This type of attitude doesn't transfer well to the classroom, because if you don't study for the test you will fail... Not everyone deserves an "A" and when you don't get that grade the vast majority of the time it's your own fault, not the teachers!  This attitude doesn't transfer well to the workplace either.  Your employer will expect you to work... and if you are not putting in the effort you will not get the raise or the promotion... in fact you will probably get fired. Oh, and when you get fired, please don't get upset with the service organization who is trying to assist you with food or resources when they don't have everything you want or flavor or style you like. While they do want to help you, and they will do their best, you are not entitled to anything for free. Please be grateful for what you get.
     And ultimately, when all is said and done in this life.... not everyone wins. If you don't put your trust in the right place and follow the right road there are consequences... Know what I mean? The creator expects us to live in relationship with Him... He gave His Son, Jesus as the ultimate sacrifice for us... but we aren't entitled to that salvation as some seem to think these days... He does ask something of us... to follow... to deny ourselves and to take up our cross daily and to follow... and that doesn't come easy... and we will NEVER deserve all He has given for us... Someplace along the way we have to start living like it!
     So coach... When I sign up my son to play next season... I don't expect him to come home with a medal he isn't entitled to... It's ok to push him a little... I'm even ok if he comes home mad once in a while... If he has to sit the bench or even if he legitimately gets cut from the team, that's ok with me. He will learn some hard life lessons along the way and in the long run, he will be a better man because of it.
     Thanks Coach.