Red Brows and Rash Decisions

The other day while getting into character for our youth group's murder mystery dinner I thought it would be fun to darken my goatee with my 14 year old daughter's mascara.  You see, it had gone grey from working with teenagers for close to 20 years and now having one of my own. As I dipped the little brush in the black makeup and proceeded to color my beard I noticed that my eyebrows no longer matched so I decided to color them as well… When I was all done I realized I LOOKED GOOD! I went to the party and was a hit! People loved the new color.

I went home, crawled in bed, rolled over to kiss my wife goodnight and was quickly reminded that I had forgotten to remove the black.  I crawled out of bed, got a washcloth wet with hot water and began to scrub… It didn't take long to realize that mascara doesn't come off that easily.  I rewet the cloth and scrubbed some more, looked in the mirror and still saw black… Once more I rewet the cloth and scrubbed… and scrubbed… and scrubbed… by the time I was fairly satisfied, and my eyebrows were a charcoal grey instead of black, I crawled back in bed and fell asleep.

The next morning I awoke and began my day. Not too long later I began to feel my eyebrows hurting. I looked in the mirror and to my horror saw that the area around my brows was all red and puffy and hurt like the dickens! I realized that in doing something that needed to be done… something that was good to do (especially if I ever wanted to kiss my wife again)… I had overdone it caused damage. I was not gentle enough and used the wrong method and pushed too long for too hard and it had caused more pain than it was worth… The pain lasted for several days until a layer of skin actually peeled and my face returned to normal.

I got to thinking about this experience in relationship to that same 14 year old daughter whose mascara I had borrowed… How many times in raising her have I caused the same kind of unnecessary pain while trying to get her to conform to my wishes? There have been many times when I have done something that needed to be done… something that was good to teach her as she was growing up… some form of discipline or even just teaching her a lesson... when I had overdone it and caused damage.  I had not thought it through and in the moment used the wrong method or become angry and pushed too hard for too long causing more harm than good.  A few times the unnecessary pain even lasted several days until it finally peeled away and everything returned to normal.


Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”. Another version says, "do not provoke your child to anger." I believe that as I raise my daughter "in the instruction of the Lord"… taking time and seeking Him in the decisions that I make, then He will show my how to lead her into truth without losing my cool, making rash decisions and causing unnecessary pain.

Hmmm? Maybe I should've thought about it a little bit before I started scrubbing my eyebrows as well…