Oh What a Journey... for Dan

Life is a journey… full of ups and downs… straightaways and hairpin turns… quick, easy trips and icy, snow covered roads… Friday morning I set out from northern California for a quick trip to Portland, OR.  A 5 1/2 to 6 hour drive straight up Interstate 5 over a couple of mountain passes to the city where I spent 5 spent pastoring.  I headed out early on Friday so that I could beat the winter storm that was supposed to be coming in.  Everything was fine… some clouds and a little bit of rain… and a whole lot of thinking about the reason for my trip. 

I was heading to Portland to celebrate the life of a man who truly touched mine.  A man who supported me, encouraged me, mentored me, and invested in me.  As I drove I thought of the many conversations we shared… some good, some hard… challenging words… deep thoughts… Talks filled with laughter, wisdom, insight… Words centered on Jesus.  

I thought  of the time Dan gave me his son’s car keys so I could get him back for forking my lawn (Wes’s car got spray painted as a result… with Dan’s permission of course!)  I thought of how I always had to guard my plate when Dan was around because whenever we were eating together there always seemed to be food disappearing.  I thought of the picture of the General Superintendent I found staring down at me from the ceiling in my office one day… Dan’s explanation was “He’s watching you.”  I thought about the Sunday morning when I pulled up to the church to find Dan digging in the dumpster… Come to find out he had put a “TRASH” note on my computer monitor and the new cleaning service took him seriously and threw it away.  I thought of him tying my office door closed so I couldn’t get out and me stepping on his oxygen hose :)… 

Then I began to think about how brave he was… leading his church in Brentwood to merge with Central. All of the unknown he faced… What would happen to his people? His job?

I thought about how humble he was… Coming on staff under the leadership of another pastor after spending so many years as a lead pastor.

I thought about how wise he was… so many times giving me the advice I needed as the exact right time.

I thought of how caring he was… investing in a young pastor and his wife… Making sure we didn’t burn out and quit.

I thought about how strong he was… standing up for what was right even when it was hard and it hurt.

I thought about how patient he was… how much he LOVED God and LOVED others… How much he LOVED kids… 

I remember him giving up his pulpit and position to minister because that is what God called him to do.  I remember him spending months in children’s church loving on kids who just needed Jesus.

I began thinking of all the lives he impacted… at Central… At Brentwood… those students who he brought with him to Central from such rough places, but he loved them anyway… I thought even about those at Weaverville… the kids (including my brother) who he counseled at summer camps.  

Dan was an amazing man.  Despite all the physical struggles he faced every day he never complained. He just continued to follow God’s call on his life… His journey, no matter how hard (I am positive it was more difficult than he ever let anyone know) continued… He followed his calling to the end…

About then, on my journey, the rain turned to snow and the road began to get slick… I pulled off in Springfield to get some food and check the weather report.  It didn’t look good… The storm was getting worse and showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.  I decided to hunker down for the night and get a hotel room.  I was informed the service was postponed a day, from Saturday, to Sunday, giving me an extra travel day.

Saturday morning I woke up and waited… I wasn’t going to turn back… Dan was worth it.  The roads were bad, but it looked like things would thaw enough to begin the journey again soon… Just after noon I left Springfield and headed north… and it wasn’t so bad… the roads were wet and a little slushy, but much better than I expected.  Until I hit Albany… the slush turned to ice and the freezing rain began falling…. Then the traffic stopped… the trucker next to me said he had heard over the radio 5 semis were sideways across the road up ahead… *sigh… there was nothing I could do… so I waited. The hour drive from Springfield to Salem took over 3 1/2 hours… passing spun out vehicles in ditches and slipping and sliding even with the four wheel drive engaged.  

I stopped for the night in Salem planning to make the 45 minute/2 hour drive to Gladstone in the morning after things thawed a bit for the 2 p.m. service… I got into my room, turned on the t.v. and heard the news of the snow storm turning into an ice storm… “That’s ok” I thought… “I can still take it slow and make it in time.”  And then I received word that the service had been postponed again… until next weekend.  2 days… 300 miles away from home another 300 miles to get back… 2 hotel rooms, maybe 3… why? It was all for naught.  

But then I got to thinking… THAT’S THE JOURNEY OF LIFE!  Quick, easy trips and icy, snow covered roads… Not sure why you’ve covered the paths you’ve taken… Unsure if you’ve made any difference at all… Feel like you’ve just been spinning your tires and not getting anywhere, but looking back you’ve come a long ways… You’ve covered so much terrain… God called you to go and you went… You didn’t think you’d been making any difference at all, but lives were affected… people were touched… hearts were changed… and even though you may not have seen it, you were a hero to so many along the way.

Dan… You were a humble hero… following God’s call and touching so many lives along the journey… never seeking the limelight or promoting yourself, but serving… like Jesus… You once told me that holiness was about loving God and loving others… that’s it… and that’s how you lived.  I love you friend. Goodbye… until that day, over there… where once again I will be guarding my food. 

Coach... Next Time Keep the Medal

Dear Coach-
     Tonight as we left basketball camp at the Y you handed my son a medal... You handed every kid a medal.
     A month ago at the soccer awards banquet you handed my son a medal...  You handed every kid a medal.
     Last summer at the little league baseball closing ceremonies you handed my son a trophy... You handed every kid a trophy.
     I just wanted to write you a quick note to say thank you, but my kid didn't earn those awards. He played hard, he learned a lot and he improved, but his team didn't win the league and he wasn't an mvp or an all star.  I appreciate you trying to make him feel special... like a winner, but he would of been fine without that bling.  He may have felt a little sad or disappointed, but that's ok. In life there are things that upset you and things that aren't fair.
     You see, my kid plays sports for many reasons.  One is to learn sportsmanship. Part of that is learning to be a good winner AND a good LOSER. Not everyone can win. Not everyone deserves a prize. I want my kids' coaches to teach them, to challenge them, to praise them and to honestly evaluate and critique their performance and I understand that sometimes that means my kid might leave practice upset or even mad... It's part of the game. He will grow from it. It will make him stronger. Ultimately he will be better off in life if he can learn that not everything is handed to him on a silver platter and that sometimes life is not fair and many times in life he will lose.
     I remember when I was a kid... 30 years ago... I found myself in the same boat as my son. We didn't win and I wasn't an mvp. I received a participation ribbon while the winners got trophies.  I was a bit disappointed, but I lived. It made me want to try harder the next time... to practice more and set goals for myself... Another lesson I learned, that I believe is just as important, is that I will not succeed at everything I do. I cannot be good at everything. Sometimes I will fail and sometimes I may need to focus my energy and time on something different.
     One of the biggest harms of handing every kid a prize is the attitude it instills in them... An attitude of "I don't have to try my hardest. I will still get a prize." An attitude of "I deserve it!" no matter how hard they try or if they succeed or not.  This type of attitude doesn't transfer well to the classroom, because if you don't study for the test you will fail... Not everyone deserves an "A" and when you don't get that grade the vast majority of the time it's your own fault, not the teachers!  This attitude doesn't transfer well to the workplace either.  Your employer will expect you to work... and if you are not putting in the effort you will not get the raise or the promotion... in fact you will probably get fired. Oh, and when you get fired, please don't get upset with the service organization who is trying to assist you with food or resources when they don't have everything you want or flavor or style you like. While they do want to help you, and they will do their best, you are not entitled to anything for free. Please be grateful for what you get.
     And ultimately, when all is said and done in this life.... not everyone wins. If you don't put your trust in the right place and follow the right road there are consequences... Know what I mean? The creator expects us to live in relationship with Him... He gave His Son, Jesus as the ultimate sacrifice for us... but we aren't entitled to that salvation as some seem to think these days... He does ask something of us... to follow... to deny ourselves and to take up our cross daily and to follow... and that doesn't come easy... and we will NEVER deserve all He has given for us... Someplace along the way we have to start living like it!
     So coach... When I sign up my son to play next season... I don't expect him to come home with a medal he isn't entitled to... It's ok to push him a little... I'm even ok if he comes home mad once in a while... If he has to sit the bench or even if he legitimately gets cut from the team, that's ok with me. He will learn some hard life lessons along the way and in the long run, he will be a better man because of it.
     Thanks Coach.