It's Time to Grow Up!

He pulled up to the light next to me… inching forward… His engine revving… Without even looking I knew who was there… It was one of those young country boys with an ego bigger than his Wranglers… in his lifted Dodge pickup truck decked out with all the goods, wanting to race off the light through the intersection. How did I know? Because this is a rural, “good ‘ol boy” ranching community and 20 yards after the intersection two lanes will narrow to one.  The race for ego, pride, and ultimately respect in small town livin’ was on!

I gripped the wheel tight… tapped my gas petal, feeling for the response… and waited for the light to change! If I could just get a jump on the light, I could do this… 20 yards, I would be in front, he would be eating my dust and I could slow down before I passed the CHP office up ahead.

He revved his engine again as the crossing light turned yellow, knowing the time was close… I had to take a glance… What I saw made everything within me want to break out in laughter! The “lifted Dodge pickup truck decked out with all the goods” was actually an old, beat up, Chevy work truck… The “young country boy with an ego bigger than his Wranglers” was actually an old roughed up, over the hill, gray hair with a scruffy beard and a Taco Bell burrito in one hand… I did get a couple of things right though… He had an ego bigger than his Wranglers and he wanted to race!

I was caught off guard as the light changed and his engine roared! He got the jump and was halfway through the intersection before I hit the gas on my soccer-mom minivan… trying, unsuccessfully, to hold back the laughter! Had I really just engaged in that nonsense, allowing my mind to descend into the abyss of high school, new driver, stupidity?! I had! And I was so glad that time had long passed!  

But a quick word for the “old roughed up, over the hill, gray hair”… It’s time to grow up brother! You’ve been sitting in that seat too long! The steering wheel cover is showing wear and the dice on the mirror have long since been faded by the sun… It’s time to grow up!

And then conviction sets in… and I see the state of the Church… Sitting in the same seat too long… The wear beginning to show… The dice quickly fading… 

Hebrews 5:11-14 is paraphrased in The Message explaining, “I have a lot more to say about this, but it is hard to get it across to you since you’ve picked up this bad habit of not listening. By this time you ought to be teachers yourselves, yet here I find you need someone to sit down with you and go over the basics on God again, starting from square one—baby’s milk, when you should have been on solid food long ago! Milk is for beginners, inexperienced in God’s ways; solid food is for the mature, who have some practice in telling right from wrong.”

Church?! It’s time to grow up!

Oh What a Journey... for Dan

Life is a journey… full of ups and downs… straightaways and hairpin turns… quick, easy trips and icy, snow covered roads… Friday morning I set out from northern California for a quick trip to Portland, OR.  A 5 1/2 to 6 hour drive straight up Interstate 5 over a couple of mountain passes to the city where I spent 5 spent pastoring.  I headed out early on Friday so that I could beat the winter storm that was supposed to be coming in.  Everything was fine… some clouds and a little bit of rain… and a whole lot of thinking about the reason for my trip. 

I was heading to Portland to celebrate the life of a man who truly touched mine.  A man who supported me, encouraged me, mentored me, and invested in me.  As I drove I thought of the many conversations we shared… some good, some hard… challenging words… deep thoughts… Talks filled with laughter, wisdom, insight… Words centered on Jesus.  

I thought  of the time Dan gave me his son’s car keys so I could get him back for forking my lawn (Wes’s car got spray painted as a result… with Dan’s permission of course!)  I thought of how I always had to guard my plate when Dan was around because whenever we were eating together there always seemed to be food disappearing.  I thought of the picture of the General Superintendent I found staring down at me from the ceiling in my office one day… Dan’s explanation was “He’s watching you.”  I thought about the Sunday morning when I pulled up to the church to find Dan digging in the dumpster… Come to find out he had put a “TRASH” note on my computer monitor and the new cleaning service took him seriously and threw it away.  I thought of him tying my office door closed so I couldn’t get out and me stepping on his oxygen hose :)… 

Then I began to think about how brave he was… leading his church in Brentwood to merge with Central. All of the unknown he faced… What would happen to his people? His job?

I thought about how humble he was… Coming on staff under the leadership of another pastor after spending so many years as a lead pastor.

I thought about how wise he was… so many times giving me the advice I needed as the exact right time.

I thought of how caring he was… investing in a young pastor and his wife… Making sure we didn’t burn out and quit.

I thought about how strong he was… standing up for what was right even when it was hard and it hurt.

I thought about how patient he was… how much he LOVED God and LOVED others… How much he LOVED kids… 

I remember him giving up his pulpit and position to minister because that is what God called him to do.  I remember him spending months in children’s church loving on kids who just needed Jesus.

I began thinking of all the lives he impacted… at Central… At Brentwood… those students who he brought with him to Central from such rough places, but he loved them anyway… I thought even about those at Weaverville… the kids (including my brother) who he counseled at summer camps.  

Dan was an amazing man.  Despite all the physical struggles he faced every day he never complained. He just continued to follow God’s call on his life… His journey, no matter how hard (I am positive it was more difficult than he ever let anyone know) continued… He followed his calling to the end…

About then, on my journey, the rain turned to snow and the road began to get slick… I pulled off in Springfield to get some food and check the weather report.  It didn’t look good… The storm was getting worse and showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.  I decided to hunker down for the night and get a hotel room.  I was informed the service was postponed a day, from Saturday, to Sunday, giving me an extra travel day.

Saturday morning I woke up and waited… I wasn’t going to turn back… Dan was worth it.  The roads were bad, but it looked like things would thaw enough to begin the journey again soon… Just after noon I left Springfield and headed north… and it wasn’t so bad… the roads were wet and a little slushy, but much better than I expected.  Until I hit Albany… the slush turned to ice and the freezing rain began falling…. Then the traffic stopped… the trucker next to me said he had heard over the radio 5 semis were sideways across the road up ahead… *sigh… there was nothing I could do… so I waited. The hour drive from Springfield to Salem took over 3 1/2 hours… passing spun out vehicles in ditches and slipping and sliding even with the four wheel drive engaged.  

I stopped for the night in Salem planning to make the 45 minute/2 hour drive to Gladstone in the morning after things thawed a bit for the 2 p.m. service… I got into my room, turned on the t.v. and heard the news of the snow storm turning into an ice storm… “That’s ok” I thought… “I can still take it slow and make it in time.”  And then I received word that the service had been postponed again… until next weekend.  2 days… 300 miles away from home another 300 miles to get back… 2 hotel rooms, maybe 3… why? It was all for naught.  

But then I got to thinking… THAT’S THE JOURNEY OF LIFE!  Quick, easy trips and icy, snow covered roads… Not sure why you’ve covered the paths you’ve taken… Unsure if you’ve made any difference at all… Feel like you’ve just been spinning your tires and not getting anywhere, but looking back you’ve come a long ways… You’ve covered so much terrain… God called you to go and you went… You didn’t think you’d been making any difference at all, but lives were affected… people were touched… hearts were changed… and even though you may not have seen it, you were a hero to so many along the way.

Dan… You were a humble hero… following God’s call and touching so many lives along the journey… never seeking the limelight or promoting yourself, but serving… like Jesus… You once told me that holiness was about loving God and loving others… that’s it… and that’s how you lived.  I love you friend. Goodbye… until that day, over there… where once again I will be guarding my food. 

Red Brows and Rash Decisions

The other day while getting into character for our youth group's murder mystery dinner I thought it would be fun to darken my goatee with my 14 year old daughter's mascara.  You see, it had gone grey from working with teenagers for close to 20 years and now having one of my own. As I dipped the little brush in the black makeup and proceeded to color my beard I noticed that my eyebrows no longer matched so I decided to color them as well… When I was all done I realized I LOOKED GOOD! I went to the party and was a hit! People loved the new color.

I went home, crawled in bed, rolled over to kiss my wife goodnight and was quickly reminded that I had forgotten to remove the black.  I crawled out of bed, got a washcloth wet with hot water and began to scrub… It didn't take long to realize that mascara doesn't come off that easily.  I rewet the cloth and scrubbed some more, looked in the mirror and still saw black… Once more I rewet the cloth and scrubbed… and scrubbed… and scrubbed… by the time I was fairly satisfied, and my eyebrows were a charcoal grey instead of black, I crawled back in bed and fell asleep.

The next morning I awoke and began my day. Not too long later I began to feel my eyebrows hurting. I looked in the mirror and to my horror saw that the area around my brows was all red and puffy and hurt like the dickens! I realized that in doing something that needed to be done… something that was good to do (especially if I ever wanted to kiss my wife again)… I had overdone it caused damage. I was not gentle enough and used the wrong method and pushed too long for too hard and it had caused more pain than it was worth… The pain lasted for several days until a layer of skin actually peeled and my face returned to normal.

I got to thinking about this experience in relationship to that same 14 year old daughter whose mascara I had borrowed… How many times in raising her have I caused the same kind of unnecessary pain while trying to get her to conform to my wishes? There have been many times when I have done something that needed to be done… something that was good to teach her as she was growing up… some form of discipline or even just teaching her a lesson... when I had overdone it and caused damage.  I had not thought it through and in the moment used the wrong method or become angry and pushed too hard for too long causing more harm than good.  A few times the unnecessary pain even lasted several days until it finally peeled away and everything returned to normal.


Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”. Another version says, "do not provoke your child to anger." I believe that as I raise my daughter "in the instruction of the Lord"… taking time and seeking Him in the decisions that I make, then He will show my how to lead her into truth without losing my cool, making rash decisions and causing unnecessary pain.

Hmmm? Maybe I should've thought about it a little bit before I started scrubbing my eyebrows as well…

APATHEISM, Father forgive us...

(Disclaimer... I am not apologizing here for what I am saying, but I see the following attitude not as an attitude attributed to my particular church only, but to the church in America as a whole with very few exceptions. Not making excuses, just making honest observations... If this attitude weren't present in today's church, things would be VERY different in this nation. If you are reading this as a part of the church community I am directly a part of and ministering in, please don't see this as judgement, but, if you are feeling upset, it could possibly be conviction... The Spirit of God calling you to something more... Join me in this, what Platt would call, "Holy discontent" and don't run away with your tail between your legs, but step up and say, "Father, what do you have for me today?" and do it!)

Last week I was introduced to a term I had never heard before... APATHEISM... I’m not sure where I heard it. I believe it was while reading a blog or scrolling through Facebook, but I can’t get it out of my head.  Apatheism... a combination of “apathy” and “theism” referring to an apathetic view of God.  The idea that “ya, I believe in God, but I just don’t really care” that is rampant in today’s society.  As I’ve been thinking about this word I have been wrestling with some things:

1. Where does this attitude come from?

-Is it because we have been raised in a “Christian society” where people were just expected to have morals and belong to a church? And, since that attitude is changing in today’s culture (seems like there are more people who don’t go to church these days than do... the question isn’t “where do you go to church?” anymore, but “DO you go to church?”), people have just decided that it’s easier to just not care. 

-Could it be because real relationship with Jesus leads to life change?

-Maybe it’s because following Christ closely involves risk? 

-Maybe it’s just because they just don’t see the urgency of it... They don’t realize how important it really is. (Could this be the church’s fault?!)

      2.Is this attitude of apatheism just present outside the church?

-NO! I think a big part of the problem is this attitude WITHIN the church! When there is a need in church for a volunteer and the response you get is “I’ve already done my time”... that shows apatheism. “I don’t really care if there is a need. I’ve already ‘earned my salvation’” so why should I give up my study... where i’ve been for 30 years... after all I have to learn what the Bible says so I can live it out! (Problem is... by the time we know the book well enough to live it out, we won’t have enough life left in us to make it happen!)

Recently our church took part in the My Hope Campaign with Billy Graham... a campaign designed to bring Graham’s evangelism rallies into the home by hosting small private parties where a video is shared and an invitation to salvation is given.  We provided our church with resources and training... Over 350 names were written down of people we were praying for, who we hoped would respond to the hope of Jesus through this event.  

When the time came... apart from church staff and the church parties, less than a handful of parties were hosted... and the number of people who attended the church parties who didn’t already attend the church could be counted on 2 hands.  Why?  Is this apatheism? Does the church just NOT CARE about their friends who are living outside a relationship with Jesus? Or are they too afraid (afraid of reputation or rejection) to invite them?  Or... do we think we have done our duty just because we prayed? Hmmmm? 

And now that the “parties” are over the attitude I sense is “whew! Glad that’s over!”  No need to feel convicted anymore because the campaign is over. Too bad I missed my chance, guess I can go on with my comfortable christianity now.

I think you can probably sense my sarcasm and frustration.... You see? God’s call to follow Him and His call to MAKE DISCIPLES isn’t a call to participate in a campaign or a program... It is a call to deny oneself daily, take up ones cross and follow!  It’s a call to sacrifice... to give of ones self for the sake of another... It’s a call that doesn’t end but remains 24/7/365 until the day you die.... “Well, I did my time! I taught Sunday School for 3 years without a break!”  Good for you... Jesus did His time too... all the way to the cross!

Maybe we, in the church, are too isolated from the world. We don’t have any “unsaved” friends.  Then we need to get out into the world and MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS!

Maybe we, in the church, are too comfortable with our lives... we don’t want to have to give up our big screen tvs and blueray collections... and we let our neighbors (remember the good samaritan story!) go without food and heat.

Maybe our church community has finally made it to a place where there are no major scandals or issues... we can’t let anyone into the inner circle who might bring problems with them! I seem to have read somewhere that Jesus came for the sick not well... hmmm?

OUR HEARTS are SO FAR from where God and His Word call us to be. We want what Bonhoeffer calls “cheap grace”... and as we seek after this grace without sacrifice we are dying inside and killing the church, the bride of Christ, in the process.

Apatheism?  Father forgive us... we know what we are doing, but sometimes it seems we just don’t care.

What a Ride!

Today I came across a post from Mark Matlock titled Remembering Mike Yaconelli . As I read the post and watched the video (You can check it out HERE) I realized just how much this man who I only met once impacted my life.

It was the fall of 2003. I was attending the Youth Specialties conference just a few months after accepting the youth pastor job at Yreka Church of the Nazarene.  Yreka was the small town where Mike pastored Grace Community Church.  When I ran into Mike in the hallway of YS I had to say “hi” and introduce myself.  We shook hands and exchanged numbers so we could set up lunch meeting when we both got back to town.

Weeks passed and time got the best of us and tragedy struck. Mike was killed driving over the pass from Medford to Yreka the end of October 2003. We never got to sit down for lunch and talk Jesus.  But even without that meeting, God used Mike in my life in ways he will never know.

Mike was a pioneer of organized youth ministry. He paved the way for so many of us youth pastors.  He produced materials to assist us and organized conferences to encourage us. He wrote books about ministry and about grace.  He loved Jesus and loved students. He broke the mold of ministry to teens and brought fun... and grace... into the midst of it.  

I will never forget early November of 2003 when I walked into the gymnasium of Yreka High School, where Mike had served on the school board, for Mike’s funeral.  As I walked in Mike simple pine casket was at the center of the room... with stack of sharpies for people to write their memories of Mike right on his casket.  I sat in the bleachers off to the side and watched people walk in.  I remember seeing Brennan Manning whose books I had read and who I had heard speak on several occasions.  I saw Doug Fields whose ministry at Saddleback Church was admired by so many. Then there was Tony Campolo and Tic Long and ... and ... and ... so many heroes of faith and ministry.

The service started and I remember eulogies from family and from Tony Campolo, but then my heart was touched as Sadie... a young lady from Mike’s church with downs syndrome stood to speak... Through her tears she shared of how Mike had touched her life... Then there was a man who shared about the impact Mike had on his life using a mix of grace language and 4 letter words.  What a contrast from the youth ministry “hall of fame” that was present in the room!  It hit me that these people from Mike’s “private life” had little knowledge of Mike’s “public fame” in the youth ministry world.  They just knew him as a humble man and pastor who had shared the love and grace of Jesus with them.  My heart was challenged and changed that day... to see people through Jesus’ eyes... to love them through their sin... to see past the messiness of their lives (of my own life) and be a vessel of God’s grace... HIS HUGE GRACE.

Mike, in his life and even more in his death, helped me understand Jesus. Jesus abandoned all He was in heaven and became human so that we could understand grace... Do you get it? He created us... We messed things up yet He didn’t abandon us and start over... Out of His love for us He became one of us so that we could reestablish that relationship with Him. What love! What grace! What humility! What sacrifice! And those are the characteristics that Mike lived out every day!

And another thing... today I turn 40. Just a couple years shy of 20 years in full time youth ministry. As I reflect on where I’ve been I see God’s blessing in the lives of former students who are following after Jesus.  As I look ahead I see years more of ministry, leading more to follow Jesus. I really believe the best years of ministry are to come because as I get older, I get to know Jesus better... and some day I want to look back at the good times and the tough times, see the hand of God through it all and be able to say with Mike... “WHAT A RIDE!”

Thank Mike for being that living example of dreaming big, remaining humble, and blazing trails for God into the unknown can look like!  We are better off because of the legacy you left. I’m giving thanks for YOU today.

Why Fight the Current?

As I sit here this morning my heart is heavy and my mind is wrestling with the Church and the church. The Church, big C, being the universal disciples of Jesus... all of us doing our best to follow after HIM. The church, little c, being the individual churches... the walls of our buildings that divide us for as many different reasons as there are buildings.... different locations, styles, types of people, personalities... different theologies, teachings, interpretations of Scripture. 

Here is the crux of the matter for me... Why? As Rodney King once was quoted saying during the LA riots of 1991, “Why can’t we all just get along?”  I know that was in a different setting and under different circumstances than the topic of this blog, but I think to the outside world, so often what is going on in the Church looks a lot like what’s going on during racial riots... a lot of unorganized chaos brought on by disagreements escalated to the point of fighting and unrest.  Could the world really be looking in from the outside and seeing a state of riot that they know they would be better off avoiding brought on not by disagreements between races, but disagreements between churches (little c)?

Now I am not saying that we all need to jump into one big ship and set off on the journey in some form of faux unity... But I do think that we need to join the same armada riding the current of JESUS deeper into the adventure and journey of God’s overlying story... maybe each ship has a different set of oarsmen, but they’re willing to travel together towards the same destination.  Make sense?!

To be quite honest I am tired of feeling the tension between churches and between pastors who each feel like their way is the right way and if I don’t jump onboard their ship, then I need to just walk the plank. I have no problem supporting and encouraging your ship along on the journey... in fact sometimes I think my ship can tag along with yours, maybe tying a rope to the stern for a season and likewise, I’m willing to throw you a rope through a season as well and then set you free when the right time comes, but I don’t think we all HAVE to be swabbing the same deck... although if you need me to help you swab your deck please don’t hesitate to ask. We need to remember as long as we are all riding the current of JESUS of the Gospels doing our best to follow God of the Bible, the one true God, then those tensions have no place on these seas!

This morning as I gathered over coffee with pastors from 2 other churches reading emails, talking through input and putting together the efforts of pastors from at least 7 other churches to organize an annual community wide youth event I got a picture of what the Church is supposed to look like. The focus was investing in the lives of the students who walk our streets with the HOPE and LOVE of Jesus Christ. Each of us leaders willing to lay down our own pride, sacrifice our own time and budgets, and set aside our own churches for a season in order to lift up the Church so that a student’s life can be changed for eternity. 

And so the wrestling continues... And as it does, the prayer effort intensifies... Why can’t the church see the Church and accept it for what it is? Each church (in their individual, unique vessels) riding the current of Jesus deeper into the story allowing the Author of it all to receive all praise, honor and glory... and because of it the world be changed.

(and so goes my personal contribution to National Talk Like a Pirate Day)

Fruitful Daily Habits- Good Intentions vs. Actual Reality

My day begins as the sun rises... I roll out of bed right as the automatic coffee maker finishes brewing my coffee.  Pouring a cup of coffee I sit down with my Bible open and God begins to whisper His words of comfort and challenge into my soul. As I finish up my devotional time I hear my wife begin to stir... I cook breakfast for the 2 of us as she does her morning devotions and we both eat before she goes off to prepare for the day. I wake the kids begin my morning workout. I finish my workout in time to take a quick shower, shave, brush my teeth and get dressed for the day. I get my kids breakfast and pray with them before sending them off to meet the day.  LIFE IS GOOD!

And so are my intentions... But, to be honest, intentions and reality don’t usually match up. I would LOVE for my morning to look like that. I really would! But in our home, that’s not usually the case. A typical morning in my house usually looks a bit more like this:

My day begins as my anxiousness rises... I really can’t lay here anymore! I have to get up or I’ll be late! I roll out of bed as my daughter hits the shower using up the last of the hot water.  I shiver through a cold shower and throw on my clothes, dragging my boys out of bed in the process... Telling them to get dressed I head to the kitchen to fix breakfast. I pull out the cereal and milk and throw some bowls and spoons on the table. I yell from the kitchen, “KIDS! BREAKFAST!”  I scramble to make a cup of coffee and get my stuff together as I pour cereal and slice bananas for my youngest son. I send the kids off to school with a quick, “Goodbye! I love you!” as I throw on my shoes and look for my keys.  I rush out the door on the way to work only to trip over the lunchbox the middle kid forgot... As I pick it up to make the delivery I feel frustrated and stressed... I didn’t get a bite to eat, I haven’t worked out in weeks, my devotional life is lacking and my life reflects it. Something has to change!

Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”  

These are my intentions, but in reality sometimes I think I have it all wrong.  How do I get the chaos of my life to fit into that mold? I’ve tried! I’ve reorganized my schedule and pinned it to the wall. I’ve filled out the covenant card and asked my accountability partner to hold me to it. But somehow the scheduled gets filled with other tasks and the covenant fades over time and I find myself once again in the midst of the chaos... Frustrated and stressed I throw in the towel and crumble into my chair... defeated!  

And that’s when God whispers... “It’s the fruit of MY Spirit...If you intend to fit your life into that mold then you have to ALLOW ME TO MOLD YOU. You cannot do it on your own strength. You CAN do it in MY strength.”

So once again... I lay my chaotic schedule aside with a new understanding of who HE is and what HE desires of me... I set my recurring daily alarm a little earlier and as I do, I surrender to His grace that encourages me and invite His Spirit to mold me... and as I do I notice some blossoms begin to bloom out of the chaos of who I was.

A New Adventure

Today I set out on a new adventure.  For sometime now I've known that I've had a longing in my heart... That uneasy feeling of knowing that you're supposed to be doing something but you're not quite sure what.  The notion that you were meant for something more... something bigger... that God's given you a voice and that voice needs to be heard but you're not exactly sure how to share it.  Well, that's where I find myself today.

I have a sense of uneasiness in my spirit that I've had for sometime. Not long ago someone (I can't remember if it was David Platt or Francis Chan) put a label on that feeling in my soul. They called it a 'holy discontent'.  You see deep in my heart, more than anything else, I want to seek JESUS with everything that I am... but I continually find myself wrestling with this messy world. I find myself wanting to be the best disciple that I can be. I find myself longing to lead others on the journey. Part of my heart struggles with the leading within the established church and its framework... the other part knows that it has been placed in the church and almost feels like its supposed to lead those within this established community back to the Jesus of the Gospel.

So here's the struggle... How does one stir up a passion for Christ in the midst of a world that continually drags people away from His call.  Good people with good intentions... even with hearts for God... being dragged away and enticed, by the evil one.  Boy, that sounds harsh as I write it, but it is reality. I think one of Satan's greatest tools against the Christ follower today is distraction! He's like the creepy guy in the van with the puppy dog and handful of candy trying to lure the young child away from his set path home from school.  He knows our intentions and our destination, but he does everything he can, through the busy-ness of life, to distract us from taking the next step on the journey. And as I look at my personal calendar and the lives of the people in my own church community I see that he is succeeding.  We are a people with all the best intentions in the world, but who struggle to 'take up our cross daily and follow' because we tend to get steered off the course towards JESUS by the candy in Satan's hand... and we don't even realize that it's Satan... "but the things I'm involved in are ALL good things!?!" ... and Satan knows it.

So the adventure begins... not the adventure of following (that started YEARS ago) nor the adventure of leading (been attempting to lead since the mid-90s), but the adventure making my voice heard... sharing the struggles with other like minded followers as we journey together towards Christ! .... through the world of blogging... SEEKING HIS LEAD... together on the journey.