Red Brows and Rash Decisions

The other day while getting into character for our youth group's murder mystery dinner I thought it would be fun to darken my goatee with my 14 year old daughter's mascara.  You see, it had gone grey from working with teenagers for close to 20 years and now having one of my own. As I dipped the little brush in the black makeup and proceeded to color my beard I noticed that my eyebrows no longer matched so I decided to color them as well… When I was all done I realized I LOOKED GOOD! I went to the party and was a hit! People loved the new color.

I went home, crawled in bed, rolled over to kiss my wife goodnight and was quickly reminded that I had forgotten to remove the black.  I crawled out of bed, got a washcloth wet with hot water and began to scrub… It didn't take long to realize that mascara doesn't come off that easily.  I rewet the cloth and scrubbed some more, looked in the mirror and still saw black… Once more I rewet the cloth and scrubbed… and scrubbed… and scrubbed… by the time I was fairly satisfied, and my eyebrows were a charcoal grey instead of black, I crawled back in bed and fell asleep.

The next morning I awoke and began my day. Not too long later I began to feel my eyebrows hurting. I looked in the mirror and to my horror saw that the area around my brows was all red and puffy and hurt like the dickens! I realized that in doing something that needed to be done… something that was good to do (especially if I ever wanted to kiss my wife again)… I had overdone it caused damage. I was not gentle enough and used the wrong method and pushed too long for too hard and it had caused more pain than it was worth… The pain lasted for several days until a layer of skin actually peeled and my face returned to normal.

I got to thinking about this experience in relationship to that same 14 year old daughter whose mascara I had borrowed… How many times in raising her have I caused the same kind of unnecessary pain while trying to get her to conform to my wishes? There have been many times when I have done something that needed to be done… something that was good to teach her as she was growing up… some form of discipline or even just teaching her a lesson... when I had overdone it and caused damage.  I had not thought it through and in the moment used the wrong method or become angry and pushed too hard for too long causing more harm than good.  A few times the unnecessary pain even lasted several days until it finally peeled away and everything returned to normal.


Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”. Another version says, "do not provoke your child to anger." I believe that as I raise my daughter "in the instruction of the Lord"… taking time and seeking Him in the decisions that I make, then He will show my how to lead her into truth without losing my cool, making rash decisions and causing unnecessary pain.

Hmmm? Maybe I should've thought about it a little bit before I started scrubbing my eyebrows as well…

What a Ride!

Today I came across a post from Mark Matlock titled Remembering Mike Yaconelli . As I read the post and watched the video (You can check it out HERE) I realized just how much this man who I only met once impacted my life.

It was the fall of 2003. I was attending the Youth Specialties conference just a few months after accepting the youth pastor job at Yreka Church of the Nazarene.  Yreka was the small town where Mike pastored Grace Community Church.  When I ran into Mike in the hallway of YS I had to say “hi” and introduce myself.  We shook hands and exchanged numbers so we could set up lunch meeting when we both got back to town.

Weeks passed and time got the best of us and tragedy struck. Mike was killed driving over the pass from Medford to Yreka the end of October 2003. We never got to sit down for lunch and talk Jesus.  But even without that meeting, God used Mike in my life in ways he will never know.

Mike was a pioneer of organized youth ministry. He paved the way for so many of us youth pastors.  He produced materials to assist us and organized conferences to encourage us. He wrote books about ministry and about grace.  He loved Jesus and loved students. He broke the mold of ministry to teens and brought fun... and grace... into the midst of it.  

I will never forget early November of 2003 when I walked into the gymnasium of Yreka High School, where Mike had served on the school board, for Mike’s funeral.  As I walked in Mike simple pine casket was at the center of the room... with stack of sharpies for people to write their memories of Mike right on his casket.  I sat in the bleachers off to the side and watched people walk in.  I remember seeing Brennan Manning whose books I had read and who I had heard speak on several occasions.  I saw Doug Fields whose ministry at Saddleback Church was admired by so many. Then there was Tony Campolo and Tic Long and ... and ... and ... so many heroes of faith and ministry.

The service started and I remember eulogies from family and from Tony Campolo, but then my heart was touched as Sadie... a young lady from Mike’s church with downs syndrome stood to speak... Through her tears she shared of how Mike had touched her life... Then there was a man who shared about the impact Mike had on his life using a mix of grace language and 4 letter words.  What a contrast from the youth ministry “hall of fame” that was present in the room!  It hit me that these people from Mike’s “private life” had little knowledge of Mike’s “public fame” in the youth ministry world.  They just knew him as a humble man and pastor who had shared the love and grace of Jesus with them.  My heart was challenged and changed that day... to see people through Jesus’ eyes... to love them through their sin... to see past the messiness of their lives (of my own life) and be a vessel of God’s grace... HIS HUGE GRACE.

Mike, in his life and even more in his death, helped me understand Jesus. Jesus abandoned all He was in heaven and became human so that we could understand grace... Do you get it? He created us... We messed things up yet He didn’t abandon us and start over... Out of His love for us He became one of us so that we could reestablish that relationship with Him. What love! What grace! What humility! What sacrifice! And those are the characteristics that Mike lived out every day!

And another thing... today I turn 40. Just a couple years shy of 20 years in full time youth ministry. As I reflect on where I’ve been I see God’s blessing in the lives of former students who are following after Jesus.  As I look ahead I see years more of ministry, leading more to follow Jesus. I really believe the best years of ministry are to come because as I get older, I get to know Jesus better... and some day I want to look back at the good times and the tough times, see the hand of God through it all and be able to say with Mike... “WHAT A RIDE!”

Thank Mike for being that living example of dreaming big, remaining humble, and blazing trails for God into the unknown can look like!  We are better off because of the legacy you left. I’m giving thanks for YOU today.

Our Students Are Leading the Way

Each year the fourth Wednesday of September is a day I look forward to. Why? Because it's the day students across the nation gather for See You at the Pole.

This student led prayer movement is a sign of hope in a messy world. It shows me that there is still a generation who believes there is better direction than the world is currently going and is willing to stand for their God and for their communities, schools and friends.  It challenges me, as an adult, to follow their example and be bold about my faith. It reminds me of our freedoms in this nation, our freedom of worship and our freedom of speech. 

Each year as students gather to pray I give thanks that there are still students willing to live out Paul's words to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:12 to not let anyone look down on them because of their youth and to be an example to the believers.  Thank you kids! Thanks for being JESUS today!

A New Adventure

Today I set out on a new adventure.  For sometime now I've known that I've had a longing in my heart... That uneasy feeling of knowing that you're supposed to be doing something but you're not quite sure what.  The notion that you were meant for something more... something bigger... that God's given you a voice and that voice needs to be heard but you're not exactly sure how to share it.  Well, that's where I find myself today.

I have a sense of uneasiness in my spirit that I've had for sometime. Not long ago someone (I can't remember if it was David Platt or Francis Chan) put a label on that feeling in my soul. They called it a 'holy discontent'.  You see deep in my heart, more than anything else, I want to seek JESUS with everything that I am... but I continually find myself wrestling with this messy world. I find myself wanting to be the best disciple that I can be. I find myself longing to lead others on the journey. Part of my heart struggles with the leading within the established church and its framework... the other part knows that it has been placed in the church and almost feels like its supposed to lead those within this established community back to the Jesus of the Gospel.

So here's the struggle... How does one stir up a passion for Christ in the midst of a world that continually drags people away from His call.  Good people with good intentions... even with hearts for God... being dragged away and enticed, by the evil one.  Boy, that sounds harsh as I write it, but it is reality. I think one of Satan's greatest tools against the Christ follower today is distraction! He's like the creepy guy in the van with the puppy dog and handful of candy trying to lure the young child away from his set path home from school.  He knows our intentions and our destination, but he does everything he can, through the busy-ness of life, to distract us from taking the next step on the journey. And as I look at my personal calendar and the lives of the people in my own church community I see that he is succeeding.  We are a people with all the best intentions in the world, but who struggle to 'take up our cross daily and follow' because we tend to get steered off the course towards JESUS by the candy in Satan's hand... and we don't even realize that it's Satan... "but the things I'm involved in are ALL good things!?!" ... and Satan knows it.

So the adventure begins... not the adventure of following (that started YEARS ago) nor the adventure of leading (been attempting to lead since the mid-90s), but the adventure making my voice heard... sharing the struggles with other like minded followers as we journey together towards Christ! .... through the world of blogging... SEEKING HIS LEAD... together on the journey.