Kassy's version of Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball

Oh What a Journey... for Dan

Life is a journey… full of ups and downs… straightaways and hairpin turns… quick, easy trips and icy, snow covered roads… Friday morning I set out from northern California for a quick trip to Portland, OR.  A 5 1/2 to 6 hour drive straight up Interstate 5 over a couple of mountain passes to the city where I spent 5 spent pastoring.  I headed out early on Friday so that I could beat the winter storm that was supposed to be coming in.  Everything was fine… some clouds and a little bit of rain… and a whole lot of thinking about the reason for my trip. 

I was heading to Portland to celebrate the life of a man who truly touched mine.  A man who supported me, encouraged me, mentored me, and invested in me.  As I drove I thought of the many conversations we shared… some good, some hard… challenging words… deep thoughts… Talks filled with laughter, wisdom, insight… Words centered on Jesus.  

I thought  of the time Dan gave me his son’s car keys so I could get him back for forking my lawn (Wes’s car got spray painted as a result… with Dan’s permission of course!)  I thought of how I always had to guard my plate when Dan was around because whenever we were eating together there always seemed to be food disappearing.  I thought of the picture of the General Superintendent I found staring down at me from the ceiling in my office one day… Dan’s explanation was “He’s watching you.”  I thought about the Sunday morning when I pulled up to the church to find Dan digging in the dumpster… Come to find out he had put a “TRASH” note on my computer monitor and the new cleaning service took him seriously and threw it away.  I thought of him tying my office door closed so I couldn’t get out and me stepping on his oxygen hose :)… 

Then I began to think about how brave he was… leading his church in Brentwood to merge with Central. All of the unknown he faced… What would happen to his people? His job?

I thought about how humble he was… Coming on staff under the leadership of another pastor after spending so many years as a lead pastor.

I thought about how wise he was… so many times giving me the advice I needed as the exact right time.

I thought of how caring he was… investing in a young pastor and his wife… Making sure we didn’t burn out and quit.

I thought about how strong he was… standing up for what was right even when it was hard and it hurt.

I thought about how patient he was… how much he LOVED God and LOVED others… How much he LOVED kids… 

I remember him giving up his pulpit and position to minister because that is what God called him to do.  I remember him spending months in children’s church loving on kids who just needed Jesus.

I began thinking of all the lives he impacted… at Central… At Brentwood… those students who he brought with him to Central from such rough places, but he loved them anyway… I thought even about those at Weaverville… the kids (including my brother) who he counseled at summer camps.  

Dan was an amazing man.  Despite all the physical struggles he faced every day he never complained. He just continued to follow God’s call on his life… His journey, no matter how hard (I am positive it was more difficult than he ever let anyone know) continued… He followed his calling to the end…

About then, on my journey, the rain turned to snow and the road began to get slick… I pulled off in Springfield to get some food and check the weather report.  It didn’t look good… The storm was getting worse and showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.  I decided to hunker down for the night and get a hotel room.  I was informed the service was postponed a day, from Saturday, to Sunday, giving me an extra travel day.

Saturday morning I woke up and waited… I wasn’t going to turn back… Dan was worth it.  The roads were bad, but it looked like things would thaw enough to begin the journey again soon… Just after noon I left Springfield and headed north… and it wasn’t so bad… the roads were wet and a little slushy, but much better than I expected.  Until I hit Albany… the slush turned to ice and the freezing rain began falling…. Then the traffic stopped… the trucker next to me said he had heard over the radio 5 semis were sideways across the road up ahead… *sigh… there was nothing I could do… so I waited. The hour drive from Springfield to Salem took over 3 1/2 hours… passing spun out vehicles in ditches and slipping and sliding even with the four wheel drive engaged.  

I stopped for the night in Salem planning to make the 45 minute/2 hour drive to Gladstone in the morning after things thawed a bit for the 2 p.m. service… I got into my room, turned on the t.v. and heard the news of the snow storm turning into an ice storm… “That’s ok” I thought… “I can still take it slow and make it in time.”  And then I received word that the service had been postponed again… until next weekend.  2 days… 300 miles away from home another 300 miles to get back… 2 hotel rooms, maybe 3… why? It was all for naught.  

But then I got to thinking… THAT’S THE JOURNEY OF LIFE!  Quick, easy trips and icy, snow covered roads… Not sure why you’ve covered the paths you’ve taken… Unsure if you’ve made any difference at all… Feel like you’ve just been spinning your tires and not getting anywhere, but looking back you’ve come a long ways… You’ve covered so much terrain… God called you to go and you went… You didn’t think you’d been making any difference at all, but lives were affected… people were touched… hearts were changed… and even though you may not have seen it, you were a hero to so many along the way.

Dan… You were a humble hero… following God’s call and touching so many lives along the journey… never seeking the limelight or promoting yourself, but serving… like Jesus… You once told me that holiness was about loving God and loving others… that’s it… and that’s how you lived.  I love you friend. Goodbye… until that day, over there… where once again I will be guarding my food. 

Red Brows and Rash Decisions

The other day while getting into character for our youth group's murder mystery dinner I thought it would be fun to darken my goatee with my 14 year old daughter's mascara.  You see, it had gone grey from working with teenagers for close to 20 years and now having one of my own. As I dipped the little brush in the black makeup and proceeded to color my beard I noticed that my eyebrows no longer matched so I decided to color them as well… When I was all done I realized I LOOKED GOOD! I went to the party and was a hit! People loved the new color.

I went home, crawled in bed, rolled over to kiss my wife goodnight and was quickly reminded that I had forgotten to remove the black.  I crawled out of bed, got a washcloth wet with hot water and began to scrub… It didn't take long to realize that mascara doesn't come off that easily.  I rewet the cloth and scrubbed some more, looked in the mirror and still saw black… Once more I rewet the cloth and scrubbed… and scrubbed… and scrubbed… by the time I was fairly satisfied, and my eyebrows were a charcoal grey instead of black, I crawled back in bed and fell asleep.

The next morning I awoke and began my day. Not too long later I began to feel my eyebrows hurting. I looked in the mirror and to my horror saw that the area around my brows was all red and puffy and hurt like the dickens! I realized that in doing something that needed to be done… something that was good to do (especially if I ever wanted to kiss my wife again)… I had overdone it caused damage. I was not gentle enough and used the wrong method and pushed too long for too hard and it had caused more pain than it was worth… The pain lasted for several days until a layer of skin actually peeled and my face returned to normal.

I got to thinking about this experience in relationship to that same 14 year old daughter whose mascara I had borrowed… How many times in raising her have I caused the same kind of unnecessary pain while trying to get her to conform to my wishes? There have been many times when I have done something that needed to be done… something that was good to teach her as she was growing up… some form of discipline or even just teaching her a lesson... when I had overdone it and caused damage.  I had not thought it through and in the moment used the wrong method or become angry and pushed too hard for too long causing more harm than good.  A few times the unnecessary pain even lasted several days until it finally peeled away and everything returned to normal.


Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”. Another version says, "do not provoke your child to anger." I believe that as I raise my daughter "in the instruction of the Lord"… taking time and seeking Him in the decisions that I make, then He will show my how to lead her into truth without losing my cool, making rash decisions and causing unnecessary pain.

Hmmm? Maybe I should've thought about it a little bit before I started scrubbing my eyebrows as well…

Trusting the Wonderings of Christmas

I wonder why…
     Why did Father do it the way He did?
          Why a baby?
               Why a carpenter and young girl who weren't even married yet?
                    Why the last available space in Bethlehem?
                         Why only 33 years on earth and only 3 years of ministry?

I've been listening to Winter Snow, by Audrey Assad and Chris Tomlin (check out this beautiful video of the song by Erik Rutgrink on youtube) and reading through Margaret Feinberg's Unwrapping Advent… trying to get my head around the miracle of Christmas and …
     … I AM AMAZED BY THE WONDER OF IT ALL …

I think the question I am wrestling with the most today is…
     … How did such a minor event in the grand scheme of things chronologically (only really 3 years of the calendar) have such an INCREDIBLE impact on the course of history? …

This Jesus, that came to earth in such a quiet humble way, has impacted
the course of time more than any other person ever …
    … about that I wonder…
          … and yet I trust…

I put my full trust and confidence in this baby and in the carpenter and the young girl…
     … I trust the manger and the ministry…
          …I don't get it… I don't understand all the whys… Why did Father do it the way He did?… but no matter the whys, I choose to trust the wonder.

Keeping X in Christmas

Been wrestling again… This time with the whole Xmas versus Christmas and Happy Holidays versus Merry Christmas deal… I think once again we, as Christ followers, are fighting the wrong battle…

Walk with me here for a bit… "X" is the Greek letter "Chi" which is short for Cristos meaning Christ… So in reality Xmas is Christmas.

Happy Holidays tells me the person sending the greeting is possibly not a follower of Jesus, so it opens the door for me to bless them with a smile and a sincere "Merry Christmas".

The wrestling for me comes when Christ followers get all up in arms about these relatively insignificant issues while succumbing to the consumerist mentality that secular society has forced on this holy holiday and are so concerned with Black Friday and Cyber Monday that they forget about JESUS humble, awe inspiring, wondrous birth.  I mean GOD coming to this earth as one of us… one of His own creation… so that we can be saved from the mess we've made for ourselves!!  And we are so focused on the best deal or the fact that someone replaces the English spelling of Christ with the Greek abbreviation that we totally forget about the baby.

AND if someone is unknowingly or even intentionally wishing "happy holidays!" or writing "Merry Xmas!" in an anti-Christ manner, don't you think we should be should be more concerned about their souls than the way they are celebrating the holiday…. hmmm? Just something to think about… It's deeper than this surface issue… It's a matter of the heart.

I hope your holiday is happy and you are truly able to focus on X this Christmas… The baby born as a man for the salvation of the multitudes… the GREATEST gift of all!

Giving Thankfully

Been wrestling with the word thanksgiving this week.  When I think of thanksgiving I think of this time of year, when we give thanks for all we are blessed with.  I have a roof over my head. I am thankful. I have food on my table. I am thankful. I have clothes on my back. I am thankful. I have family and friends. I am thankful. Paul tells us to "give thanks in all circumstances." So... this time of year we pause to give thanks...

Here's my struggle... When we take out special time that is designated to do something we make sure we do that thing really well during that time.... BUT, it takes the emphasis off the fact that we should ALWAYS be doing that thing whether it's during that special time or not.  Make sense? It's spirit day at school... we go all out painting our faces and dressing up. Shouldn't we always have school spirit though? Not just on spirit day?  It's Mother's Day. We honor our mothers.... Shouldn't we always honor our mothers?  Valentine's Day... We share love with those that we love. Shouldn't we always show them love?  It's Thanksgiving day... We give thanks for all that we are blessed with... Shouldn't we always be giving thanks?  Give thanks in all circumstances!

Makes me wonder if we are really grateful in the first place?  If we were really grateful, wouldn't we show it on a regular basis.  And if we were really grateful for all that we have wouldn't we notice how little others around us have? And if we really noticed how much we have in view of how little those around us have don't you think we would do something about it? You see? If we were really grateful for how blessed we are we would be anxious to bless others... 

So... Maybe Thanksgiving's focus shouldn't be so much about sitting around a table gorging ourselves on turkey and mashed potatoes while we thank God that we aren't in the same boat as those less fortunate than us... feeling bad for then... kind of... not bad enough to really do anything about it though... or else we WOULD do something about it. 

We do good... kind of... at giving thanks... But if we were really good at giving thanks, maybe we would start GIVING THANKFULLY... Thankful that we are blessed enough to be able to give. And I am not talking about just giving out of the leftovers... You know what I mean? Someone comes to the door on a can drive... so we go to the back of the pantry and find the dusty can of chicken broth that expired last year and give it away so we don't feel guilty for not giving anything... because a dusty, expired can of chicken broth makes such a good meal.  Or we donate the old pair of jeans or the coat with holes in it and stains up the front... We give our leftovers... What if God would had that attitude with us? They're not worth me sending my best.  They don't need my only beloved.  They ought to be grateful for this old nasty can of chicken broth from the back of my pantry.... Hmmmm?

This holiday season... I want to focus on GIVING THANKFULLY rather than just giving thanks... Because the Father gave thankfully to me.

Coach... Next Time Keep the Medal

Dear Coach-
     Tonight as we left basketball camp at the Y you handed my son a medal... You handed every kid a medal.
     A month ago at the soccer awards banquet you handed my son a medal...  You handed every kid a medal.
     Last summer at the little league baseball closing ceremonies you handed my son a trophy... You handed every kid a trophy.
     I just wanted to write you a quick note to say thank you, but my kid didn't earn those awards. He played hard, he learned a lot and he improved, but his team didn't win the league and he wasn't an mvp or an all star.  I appreciate you trying to make him feel special... like a winner, but he would of been fine without that bling.  He may have felt a little sad or disappointed, but that's ok. In life there are things that upset you and things that aren't fair.
     You see, my kid plays sports for many reasons.  One is to learn sportsmanship. Part of that is learning to be a good winner AND a good LOSER. Not everyone can win. Not everyone deserves a prize. I want my kids' coaches to teach them, to challenge them, to praise them and to honestly evaluate and critique their performance and I understand that sometimes that means my kid might leave practice upset or even mad... It's part of the game. He will grow from it. It will make him stronger. Ultimately he will be better off in life if he can learn that not everything is handed to him on a silver platter and that sometimes life is not fair and many times in life he will lose.
     I remember when I was a kid... 30 years ago... I found myself in the same boat as my son. We didn't win and I wasn't an mvp. I received a participation ribbon while the winners got trophies.  I was a bit disappointed, but I lived. It made me want to try harder the next time... to practice more and set goals for myself... Another lesson I learned, that I believe is just as important, is that I will not succeed at everything I do. I cannot be good at everything. Sometimes I will fail and sometimes I may need to focus my energy and time on something different.
     One of the biggest harms of handing every kid a prize is the attitude it instills in them... An attitude of "I don't have to try my hardest. I will still get a prize." An attitude of "I deserve it!" no matter how hard they try or if they succeed or not.  This type of attitude doesn't transfer well to the classroom, because if you don't study for the test you will fail... Not everyone deserves an "A" and when you don't get that grade the vast majority of the time it's your own fault, not the teachers!  This attitude doesn't transfer well to the workplace either.  Your employer will expect you to work... and if you are not putting in the effort you will not get the raise or the promotion... in fact you will probably get fired. Oh, and when you get fired, please don't get upset with the service organization who is trying to assist you with food or resources when they don't have everything you want or flavor or style you like. While they do want to help you, and they will do their best, you are not entitled to anything for free. Please be grateful for what you get.
     And ultimately, when all is said and done in this life.... not everyone wins. If you don't put your trust in the right place and follow the right road there are consequences... Know what I mean? The creator expects us to live in relationship with Him... He gave His Son, Jesus as the ultimate sacrifice for us... but we aren't entitled to that salvation as some seem to think these days... He does ask something of us... to follow... to deny ourselves and to take up our cross daily and to follow... and that doesn't come easy... and we will NEVER deserve all He has given for us... Someplace along the way we have to start living like it!
     So coach... When I sign up my son to play next season... I don't expect him to come home with a medal he isn't entitled to... It's ok to push him a little... I'm even ok if he comes home mad once in a while... If he has to sit the bench or even if he legitimately gets cut from the team, that's ok with me. He will learn some hard life lessons along the way and in the long run, he will be a better man because of it.
     Thanks Coach.